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Hilarious Definitions Pg.1

Absent Minded Person :

One who stands in front of the mirror for hours trying to remember where he had seen the person before .

Lecture :

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" .

Opportunists :

One who starts having a bath when he/she accidentally falls in a river .

Conference :

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present .

Compromise :

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece .

Love affairs :

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test .

Tears :

The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power .

Dictionary :

A place where divorce comes before marriage .

Cigarette :

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other .

Conference Room :

A place where everybody talks , nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on .

  The definition of the word DETERMINATION:
Finishing in first place and third place in a circle jerk competition.

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Definitions Page 2