We are NutzWorld. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"Forget about world peace ... visualize using your turn signal!"
"He who laughs last thinks slowest"
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
"Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog -- Dorothy."
"All generalizations are false."
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"Time is what keeps everything from happening at once."
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"
"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."
"Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
"I may be fat, but you're ugly. I can lose weight!"
"No radio. Already stolen"
"Real women don't have hot flashes -- they have power surges."
"OK, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
"Few women admit their age. Few men act it! "
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"
"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!"
"IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got."
"Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students!"
Submit your bumper Snickers