We are NutzWorld. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.


How do you catch a runaway dog ?
Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone !
What dog loves to take bubble baths ?
A shampoodle !
What kind of dog does a vampire prefer ?
Any kind of bloodhound !
What dogs are best for sending telegrams ?
Wire haired terriers !!
What do you call a happy Lassie ?
A jolly collie !
What do you call a nutty dog in Australia ?
A dingo-ling !
What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers ?
A bud hound !
Why didn't the dog speak to his foot ?
Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw !
What is the dogs favourite city ?
New Yorkie !
Who is the dogs favourite comedian ?
Growlcho Marx !

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Bud's dog had been jumping around all day and looking good; then suddenly passed out. Bud grabbed the dog and headed for the Vet. The Vet examined the dog and exclaimed, "this dog is dead!". Bud said," Your crazy! That dog is only two years old and has always been healthy" The Vet said, "Well, I'll try again". After looking over the dog for the second time he confirmed his diagnoses. "The dog is dead." Bud couldn't accept this, so the Vet said he could try *one* other thing. He went to the back room and came back with a cat. He laid the cat on the dog and the cat started biting and scratching the dog... jumping from one end of the dog to the other. No response! The Vet said, "that dog is dead." Finally, Bud said "I guess your right,...how much do I owe you?". The Vet said,"$325.00." "Why so much?", asked Bud. The Vet said,"$25.00 for the Exam..... and $300 for the Cat scan."


A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started to discuss the dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."

"I know!" said a third...

"They use it to find the fire hydrant!"