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Every once in a while, someone will come up to me and say, "Hey, you evil, uncaring, hateful, belligerent, selfish,
environment-ravaging, poor-people-starving, gun-toting, right-wing extremist." 

To which I respond, "What?" 

And they answer, "I bet you're just one of those people who hate liberals more than anything else." 

But how wrong those people are. The political stance that I despise the most, that causes my teeth to grind, is that of the
moderate. 

Oh, how I loathe the moderate and their idiotic idea that, "I am so smart and so reasonable because I can't take a stance on any issue!" In Dante's Inferno, the moderates and the angels who didn't take takes sides in Satan's assault against God ran around in circles in front of hell being stung by bees. Sure, the fallen angels who did go against God were stuck further down in a more torturous area of hell, but, dammit, at least they stood for something. But now we have all these people thinking they are so much better than everyone else because of their complete lack of core values keeps them out of partisan battles. But partisan disputes is how we make make big things happen! I mean that's exactly what wars are about! It's not like anyone would ever says that wars are bad! 

Moderateness only leads to the status quo; a neutral force causes no movement in any direction. Look back at all the great
people of history who defined their era; none of whom you would ever say, "Wow, that person was so moderate." Know why? 
Because only people with extreme values will noticeably change the world. Just think of how extreme Columbus, Lincoln, and
Nixon must have seemed back in there time, but now they're looked up to with respect (wait a second, Nixon started the EPA; I
hate that guy). Sure these world-changing people get shot at a lot, but that's just because no one, not even random snipers, would bother to shoot someone as inconsequential as a moderate 

Here, though, lies the problem, for we have presented an indeterminate political stance as a virtue since we're just too lazy to deal with partisan battles anymore, but this malaise of moderateness can't last for ever. When a conservative and a liberal are in heated argument, and then someone walks up to them and says, "I think that both your stances have merit," they're going to get pissed off (well the conservative will get pissed off; the liberal, after getting over the initial shock that someone thinks his argument might actually have merit, will get somewhat annoyed). Thus, sometime soon, everyone's going to revert back to their extreme sides, abandoning the annoying moderates who they had gotten so sick and tired of. And how will all these disgruntled moderates act to this desertion? Now we will be seeing the advent of the moderate extremist. 

You probably already know some of these people. Being moderates, they always seemed so rational. ...Well not really so
rational. More like they seem just rational enough, but so, extremely, just rational enough that sometimes it scares you. These are people so far out in the middle that no reason could ever reach them. And when these people see all their moderate hopes of a moderately grand future so extremely dashed against the rocks, you can be quite certain that the result will be a moderate amount of violence. 

They'll storm the capital with guns (for which they duly waited their five days to purchase) yelling, "We want more government, but not too much more government, or we will recognize the possibility that we might have to hurt people; though, of course, we will listen to both sides first." So they'll take some people hostage, and then the negotiators will come and talk to them about giving up, and they'll recognize there is some merit to what the negotiator says, and then they'll carefully consider each side, never being able to commit to either mass executions or giving up, so the stand off will last forever, and eventually we'll grow sick and tired of hearing about it, and then we'll probably start a nuclear war just so there will be something more interesting on the news. Thus
you now see how moderateness leads to global destruction. 

So, what to do? 

The answer is: Take a side, dammit! Right or left, good or evil, for the love of God, just choose! Don't take a little of each; all that will do is ensure you're partially wrong. Take a stance and violently oppose those who disagree with you; it's just healthier. 

Now I know some of you moderates are reading this, and going, "This guy is so wrong. He is so off base." 

...No wait a second, being a moderate you probably think there's some merit to my argument... 

Damn, does that piss me off!

contributed by:
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