Back To Rants and Fits Navigation            Back To JokeNutz Front Page

Victimless Crime

 What are we doing spending billions of dollars trying to keep people's private lives in order? And I am talking about legal-aged, consenting adults here. Not Kids! We obviously have to take special precautions to protect our kids. But what is the Orwellian hang-up of ours of sticking our noses into other grown ups' affair? What concern is it of ours if some mindless stoner wants to spend his life hooked up to a Turkish Skull bong. Now I am not Pro-Drug. They obviously cause a lot of damage. But I am Pro-Logic, and you're never going to stop the human need for release through altered consciousness. The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until the fell down and saw god.

 Now I don't want to get off onto a rant here, but it seems to really enrage the vast cheese-dog and beer-quaffing nation out there when someone decides to waste his own life chasing down chemical euphoria. And I am not sure why.Our displeasure with someone hell-bent on self ruination through drug use seems really disproportionate to it's direct impact on us. And as a matter of fact, we amplify that impact when we attempt to enforce unenforceable laws. It not only costs us billions but puts us in harms way as addicts are driven to crime as a means to an end.

 Why do we chase down druggies like villagers after Karloff? Let them have legally what they already have and defuse the bomb.you know I think the hysteria about drugs is oftentimes baseless,and this comes from me-a man who has never done cocaine in his life, although I did smoke dope upon occasion during my stint as a student at oxford in the late sixties. And the war on drugs is more often than not fruitless and patently hypocritical. Be honest with yourselves, now, what drugs are most dangerous to americans?It's a no-brainer- cigarettes and alcohol. Those are the statistical champions by hundreds and thousands of deaths. And wouldn't you rather shoot a game of pool with a guy smoking a joint than a guy drinking whiskey and beer? Someone smoking a joint doesn't all of a sudden rear back and stab his partner in the eye socket with the cue stick, okay. He is to busy laughing at the balls.

 And as far as harder drugs go, if somebody wants to shoot up and die, right in front of you, more power to him, you know. It's his call. And you know, the herd has always had a way of thinning itself out.

 We aren't stupid people, no more than anyone else in the world.So why are we obsessing on habits that harm no one but the habitual, while we let real problems slip further out of reach.

 We seem to be willfully be turning away from reality, and from logic might I add, to punish people who in many instances are doing a fine job of punishing themselves, Thank you. And in some cases, they  are not even punishing themselves, but rather just following age old spawning instinct that are woven as deeply into the mind as the need to watch "Sienfeld".

 Is there anything more fruitless than to legislate sexual behaviour? You know, according to the law, you can't even get a Blow job in Georgia. No wonder Sherman hustled through there then. And really if you stop to think about it, who is hurt by the time honored, unavoidable trade of prostitution? Only the guys who pay extra to be hurt. There is no sane reason to cling to an archaic legal attempt to curtail an activity that will be around till the end of time. You know, you could come back ten thousand years from now and man may have evolved to the point where he doesn't even take in nutrition through a whole in his head anymore, but I guarantee he will still be cruising ninth ave. and trying to know a shine from somebody named desree.

 What sort of perfect, Harrad Experiment society are we striving for, folks? One where you will be forced by the rigid puritanical mentality of your pinhead, Gladys Kravit neighbors into a tightly constricted, overly regimented existence? Well if that's you kink go for it.

 But for the rest of us, let's save the money we're wasting trying to regulate other people private lives. If an individual wants to smoke a joint, shoot up, or munch blotter like tic-tacs, then let him.

 Let's put up the billions we're wasting on a drug war fought by fitness fanatics on steroids and three martini senators rolling in pork back in educational system. Le's free the courts and jails of lonely men and broken women who felt the need to buy and sell sex. Let's let the hookers and their johns have a safe building somewhere, off the street, inspected medically, and taxed up the wazoo. Let's go on from there to tax liquor and cigarettes 500 percent, so that those industries can pay for safe, one lane, drunk proof highways and air purifications systems.

 Most important, let's stop pretending that people are going to lead the lives that we tell them to lead. Let's stop pretending that a few simple prohibitions an substances and activities will yield up a nation of Beaver Cleavers, polite, clean, sexless, and ready to serve their fellow man, no questions asked.

 People are people. They are going to do with their lives what they want to do, whether you like it or not. There is nothing you can do about them that wont break the bank, overcrowd prisons, or corrode an already oxidized judicial system.People are perenially goin to continue get fucked up., and fucked, and we are going to continue getting fucked over if we don't concede the fact that there is absolutely fuck-all we can do about it.

Of course that is just my opinion. I could be wrong.

- Dennis Miller

Please send us your Rants and Fits and we will post them.

rant@NutzWorld.com