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TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS
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Never take a beer to a job interview or ask if they press charges. 

Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 

Always say "Excuse me" after getting sick in someone else's car. 

It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. 

Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it's considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home. 

The socially refined never fish coins out of public toilets, especially if other people are around. 

If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets. 

Always provide an alibi to the police for family members. 

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