We are NutzWorld. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
From Barrooms to schoolyards, From e-mails to around the water cooler, we have all told these stories. Here are a few to check out.
|Chilies!||The LAPD The FBI, and CIA||True Story||Bye Mom||The String||Lawyer in a Car Crash|
|Baseball||TELEPHONE POLES||Scared Straight|
|jar full of $50's||What a guy won't do for a beer!!!||What's politics?||Getting The Job||The Tie|
|Shopping||pineapple rings||Survivalist Training||Halloween Costume Party||Drunken Car Theft||Who Has The Best Memory?|
|Poor old man|
|Pet monkey||The Gloves||A Great Canadian Joke||Quick Wit||How much is that Barbie in the Window?..||St. Peter|
|Hungry fish||Frog noise||Chinese wilderness||Another St. Peter|
|How much do you charge||Ducks||Little Johnny and his parents went to a nude beach||I
Need A Bigger One
|Making George Bush||First Time At A Baseball Game|
While proudly showing
off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.
"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.
"That is the talking clock", the man replied.
"How's it work?" the friend asked.
"Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.
Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall. "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It's two o'clock in the morning!
The Watermelon Patch
There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons.
After some careful thought he comes up with a clever idea that he thinks will scare the kids away for sure. So he makes up a sign and posts it in the field. The next day the kids show up and they see this sign, which says, "Warning, one of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide." So the kids run off and make up their own sign, which they post next to the sign that the farmer made. The farmer shows up the next day to look over his field. He notices that no watermelons are missing but he notices a new sign next to his. He drives over to the sign and takes a look.
It says,"Now there are two".