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19th Annual Oskerbites – TVBites

19th Annual Oskerbites

by Neena Louise

Worst Dressed Female

St. Vincent
The singer was wearing what looked like a swimsuit with a giant floaty ballooning out of one arm. What in the world was she thinking?

 

Worst Dressed Male

Armie Hammer
Wearing a velvet burgundy suit, Hammer looked to be all ready for the prom in the 1970s.

 

Best Dressed Female

Allison Janney
Wearing a simple yet elegant (and very stunning) red drape dress, Janey takes the prize.

Best Dressed Male

Chadwick Boseman
Yes, his bedazzled jacket was a little out there, but I couldn’t help liking it.

Worst Accessory

Salma Hayek’s whatever-that-was around her neck
Hayek’s blingy, flingy crystal thing that was draped around her neck and shoulders looked like a knight’s chainmail.

Best Accessory

Matthew McConaughey’s red bow tie
How refreshing!

Worst Hair

Sandra Bullock
Bullock’s ultra-straight hair not only didn’t suit her, but also made her look a little scary. The heavy eye makeup didn’t help.

Best Hair

Jane Fonda
I don’t think Fonda has changed her hairstyle in 40 years. Nor should she: young or old, it suits her.

Worst Acceptance Speech

Frances McDormand (Actress, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri)
I got very tired of all the “rah rah to women” spew of this year’s broadcast. When McDormand got all the female nominees to stand in solidarity, it made me want to vomit. I turned the channel before that happened.

Best Acceptance Speech

Sam Rockwell (Supporting Actor, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri)
Yes, he went on like so many others, but unlike so many others, he was funny and charming. The howled when he thanked “everyone who’s ever looked at a billboard”.

Worst Song Presentation

“Remember Me”, (Coco)
It started with an off-key, cringe-worthy version, then deteriorated into…well, I don’t know what that was. Wait, yes I do: bad.

Best Song Presentation

“This is Me” (Keala Settle, The Greatest Showman)
Settle totally rocked it and the chorus’s jubilance was very infectious.

Worst Shout-Out

All Kimmel’s old jokes directed at Christopher Plummer. None of them were remotely funny – they were just mean.

Best Shout-Out

Jimmy Kimmel saying “We don’t make films like Call Me By Your Name for money. We make them to upset Mike Pence.” Ha!

Least Deserving of an Oscar Nomination

Ladybird, Best Picture
I just don’t get the appeal of this movie. It was boring and unoriginal – nothing I haven’t seen numerous times before. Yes, the performances were good, but it didn’t deserve a Best Picture nom. Or any for that matter.

 

Most Deserving of an Oscar Nomination

The Shape of Water (all 13 nominations)
I was fully prepared to hate The Shape of Water when I went to watch it. I loved it instead.

Least Deserving of an Oscar

Once again, everyone who got one deserved it.

Most Deserving of an Oscar

Gary Oldman (Actor, Darkest Hour)
Hard to believe that was Oldman as Winston Churchill. It was so easy to forget, in fact, that I couldn’t help but think of him as anyone but Winston Churchill.

Least Surprising Winners

Coco, Animated Feature Film 
Well, gosh golly gee, what a surprise.

Most Surprising Winner

Kobe Bryant (Animated Short Film, Dear Basketball)
The fact that Bryant – who was arrested in 2003 for sexual assault – won was very surprising, indeed. I’m even more surprised that he wasn’t booed off the stage then tarred and feathered, considering the militant atmosphere.

Worst Presenters

Tiffany Haddish and Maya Rudolph

Oh, gawd these two were bad! Going on and on about nothing, trying so hard to be clever and relevant. They were unsuccessful on both fronts.

Best Presenter

For the first time ever, I didn’t really like any of them. Most of them just read whatever was on the teleprompter and, when they didn’t, they sounded like idiots.

Worst Reaction of a Winner

No bad reactions that I noticed.

Best Reaction of a Winner

Sam Rockwell
With hugs and kisses all around, he appeared to feel the most honored of all the winners.

Biggest Loser

Ladybird
Not a single statue for its 5 nominations. Thank goodness.

 

I found that there was absolutely nothing special or memorable about this year’s broadcast.  The black and white “film” showing the current audience was incredibly stupid and when the stage was revealed, I found it particularly foul this year: adorned with giant, gaudy crystals and shaped like…well, let’s just say a female part.

 

Thankfully, the broadcast was shorter than most, but it didn’t seem that way. Everyone seemed to be so wary about insulting anyone (other than Jimmy Kimmel’s mean-spirited age barbs directed at Christopher Plummer), it was just…bland.

 

I got extremely weary of the unending pro-women messages (Ashley Judd and Miro Sorvino were particularly offensive). As a woman, of course I think women shouldn’t be harassed or abused and should feel comfortable coming forward if they are, but the Oscars is not the venue for this type of activism. We’ve heard little else for months and months and are now on the verge of becoming so supersaturated with it, it’s starting to get the eye-rolling “oh, here we go again” reaction from both men and women. Might want to give that some thought.

 

That aside, it was just another overly-long boring broadcast. Even having big stars go and surprise moviegoers at a theatre next door couldn’t pique my interest. The only thing had me laughing was Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway presenting the best picture award again this year. After last year’s fiasco, it’s a wonder they wanted to show their faces.

 

 

 

For those who missed them:

Picture: The Shape of Water, Guillermo del Toro, J. Miles Dale

Director: Guillermo del Toro, The Shape of Water

Actor in a Leading Role: Gary Oldman, Darkest Hour

Actress in a Leading Role: Frances McDormand, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Actor in a Supporting Role: Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Actress in a Supporting Role: Allison Janney, I, Tonya

Foreign Language Film: A Fantastic Woman, Chile, Sebastián Lelio (director)

Cinematography: Blade Runner 2049, Roger A. Deacon

Original Screenplay: Jordan Peele, Get Out

Adapted Screenplay: James Ivory, Call Me by Your Name

Documentary Feature: Icarus, Bryan Fogel, Dan Logan

Documentary Short Heaven Is a Traffic Jam on the 405, Frank Stiefel

Live Action Short Film: The Silent Child, Chris Overton, Rachel Shenton

Film Editing: Lee Smith, Dunkirk

Makeup and Hairstyling: The Darkest Hour, Kazuhiro Tsuji, David Malinowski, Lucy Sibbick

Production Design: The Shape of Water, Paul Denham Austerberry, Shane Vieu, Jeffrey A. Melvin

Sound Mixing: Dunkirk, Gregg Landaker, Gary A. Rizzo, Mark Weingarten

Sound Editing: Dunkirk, Richard King, Alex Gibson

Visual Effects: Blade Runner 2049, John Nelson, Gerd Nefzri, Paul Lambert, Richard R. Hoover

Costume Design: Phantom Thread, Mark Bridges

Original Score: Alexandre Desplat, The Shape of Water

Original Song: “Remember Me”, Coco, Kristen Anderson-Lopez, Robert Lopez

Animated Feature Film: Coco, Lee Unkrich, Darla K. Anderson

Animated Short Film: Dear Basketball, Glen Keane, Kobe Bryant

Winner of an $18,000 Jet Ski for having the shortest speech: Mark Bridges

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