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Miss Manners: When funerals turn into entertainment

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When two acquaintances passed away, neither had a published obituary anywhere. Not on social media, not at any funeral home website, not in a newspaper, nor any information sent by mail.

Judith Martin 

It made me sad that the story of their lives would go unmarked, but it also made it impossible to send flowers to any service or make a donation of their choosing.

Has this become too expensive? Or are obituaries just an old-fashioned custom?

GENTLE READER: Death rituals are changing, but what Miss Manners mostly sees is the opposite of your experience: celebratory parties; collections of flowers, balloons and teddy bears; even the re-staging of a favorite activity of the deceased, such as a sporting event.

She sympathized back when it was felt that the standard clergy-directed tradition was not personal enough. Speakers were added who

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