OPINION

TV Bites

21st Annual Oskerbites

by Neena Louise

Worst-Dressed Female

Saoirse Ronan
I guess Ronan couldn’t decide between two dresses, so wore them both: a weird black and white baby-bib top worn over a lilac wood-grained skirt. Just all kinds of wrong.

Worst-Dressed Male

Timothée Chalamet
He looked all ready for his day job as a gas station attendant.

Best-Dressed Female

Regina King
King’s elegant pink number had just the right amount of flow and embellishments.

Best-Dressed Male

Bong Joon Ho
He totally rocked his all-black ensemble.

Worst Accessory

America Ferrera’s headband
I think Ferrera got lost on her way to Coachella.

Best Accessory

Salma Hayek’s bracelet
Yes, over-the-top, but it gave me bracelet envy.

Worst Hair

Maya Rudolph
The severe bowl-cut just didn’t suit her. It wouldn’t suit anyone other than a little boy, for that matter.

Best Hair

Rebel Wilson
Wilson’s soft, flowing curls were lovely.

Worst Acceptance Speech

Joaquin Phoenix (Actor in a Leading Role, Joker)
WTF was that? The lengthy, rambling holier-than-thou spew had me totally disgusted. He redeemed himself ever-so-slightly by getting choked up talking about his late brother River, but it wasn’t nearly enough.

Best Acceptance Speech

Bong Joon Ho
In all his speeches, he was humble, grateful and – a huge plus – not boring.

Worst Song Presentation

“Lose Yourself” (Eminem, 2003 Oscar winner for Best Song)
Not because it was bad (it was excellent), but because 1) it was a bizarre and seemingly-random performance, and 2) the constant bleeping was distracting and irritating. Had to laugh when Martin Scorsese seemed to nod off in the middle of it.

Best Song Presentation

“Into the Unknown” (Idina Menzel et al.,  Frozen II)
Not only did Mendel sound great, it was so cool to have the song sung in other languages by different singers.

Worst Shout-Out

Regina King
King shamelessly plugging Cadillac (for which she is “doing a campaign”) during the preshow was nothing short of “ugh”-inducing.

Best Shout-Out

Bong Joon Ho quoting Martin Scorsese (“The most personal is the most creative”), then saying how he studied Scorsese’s films when he was in school  not only choked up Scorsese, but garnered him a standing ovation. Awww.

Least Deserving of an Oscar Nomination

Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood (all 10 of them)
I really don’t understand the appeal in what should have been nominated as “The Most Boring Movie of the Year.” Even die-hard Tarantino fans (which I am not) hated it.

Most Deserving of an Oscar Nomination

Parasite(all of them)
Parasite is an unusual film, but one of the very few I not only watched all the way through, but also thoroughly enjoyed.

Least Deserving of an Oscar

Joaquin Phoenix (Actor in a Leading Role, Joker)
I not only really hated the movie, Phoenix’s performance was just a whole lot of over-the-top nothingness. Anyone else in the category would’ve been preferable.

Most Deserving of an Oscar

Parasite(all of them)
Parasite made history for not only being nominated for International Feature Film, but also for Best Picture, then winning them both.

Least Surprising Winner

Toy Story 4 (Animated Feature)
Oh, what not a shocker.

Most Surprising Winners

Elton John and Bernie Taupin (Original Song, “(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again”,  Rocketman)
Even though I’m a huge Elton John fan, I thought “Into the Unknown” from Frozen II was a shoe-in.

Worst Presenters

Diane Keaton and Keanu Reeves
One word: Awkward!

Best Presenters

Steve Martin and Chris Rock
The only two that made me laugh out loud, they made fun of the fact that they’d both been hosts before. They’d actually make great co-hosts. Hint, hint.

Worst Reaction of a Winner

Joaquin Phoenix (Actor in a Leading Role, Joker)
Going from angry-man to plank-faced, he hardly looked happy to win. Actually, he didn’t look happy to be there at all. Wish he hadn’t been.

Best Reaction of to a Winner

Diane Ladd
Ladd’s proud-momma reaction to her daughter’s win (Laura Dern, Actress in a Supporting Role, Marriage Story) was very sweet.

Biggest Loser

The Irishman
Ten nominations and not a single statue. Netflix was an all-round loser, for that matter. The “studio” with the most nominations at 24, Netflix won only two.

With no host again this year, the broadcast was about average for no-host years at 3-1/2 hours. I was surprised I wasn’t my usual bored-out-of-my-gourd waiting for the whole thing to end, however. Perhaps it’s because I was working a jigsaw while I watched, or maybe – just maybe – it wasn’t as boring as usual. However, if the honorary Oscars were awarded during the broadcast, I would’ve happily watched longer. I think it’s deplorable they no longer do this.

The worst thing about this year’s Oscars, however, was how many boring movies were nominated. Although most of the performances were outstanding and Oscar-worthy, the movies themselves were not. I’ve never failed to watch so many movies all the way through before. Once Upon a Time…In Hollywood was the biggest offender. Apparently, the last few minutes are worth watching, but after 35 minutes of a 2-hour-41-minute movie waiting for something – anything – to happen, I just couldn’t take it anymore. Similarly, Joker, Judy, Little Women, Harriet and The Irishman just couldn’t hold my interest for more than half an hour. I watched more of the nominated movies than usual this year, and had mixed reactions: some were brilliant; some, not so much.

As usual, there was far too much political spew during the broadcast. I don’t know why entertainers fancy themselves activists. It’s so annoying, not to mention a little sad: They’re actors that play other people for a living, not politicians. A tiresome theme this year was the lack of women in awards categories. How much you want to bet the Academy will now start stacking the deck in favor of women like they did for people of color? Win on your merit, people, not your color or gender.

For those who missed them:

Picture: Parasite, Kwak Sin Ae, Bong Joon Ho

Director: Bong Joon Ho, Parasite

Actor in a Leading Role: Joaquin Phoenix, Joker

Actress in a Leading Role: Renée Zellweger, Judy

Actor in a Supporting Role: Brad Pitt, Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood

Actress in a Supporting Role: Laura Dern, Marriage Story

International Feature Film: Parasite, South Korea, Bong Joon Ho (director)

Cinematography: 1917, Roger Deakins

Original Screenplay: Bong Joon Ho, Han Jin Won, Parasite

Adapted Screenplay: Taika Waititi, Jojo Rabbit

Documentary Feature: American Factory, Steven Bognar, Julia Reichert, Jeff Reichert

Documentary Short Subject: Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone (If You’re a Girl), Carol Dysiner, Elena Andreicheva

Live Action Short Film: The Neighbors’ Window, Marshall Curry

Film Editing: Michael McCusker, Andrew Buckland, Ford v Ferrari

Makeup and Hairstyling: Bombshell, Kazu Hiro, Anne Morgan, Vivian Baker

Production Design: Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood, Barbara Ling, Nancy Haigh

Sound Mixing: 1917, Mark Taylor, Stuart Wilson

Sound Editing: Ford v Ferrari, Donald Sylvester

Visual Effects: 1917, Guillaume Rocheron, Greg Butler, Dominic Tuohy

Costume Design: Little Women, Jacqueline Durran

Original Score: Hildur Guðnadóttir, Joker

Original Song: “(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again”, Rocketman, Elton John, Bernie Taupin

Animated Feature: Toy Story 4, Josh Cooley, Mark Nielsen, Jonas Rivera

Animated Short: Hair Love, Matthew A. Cherry, Karen Rupert Toliver

Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award: Geena Davis

Honorary Oscars: David Lynch, Wes Studi, Lina Wertmüller