A Word from our Sponsors
by Neena Louise
neena@entetainmentnutz.com
OPINION
I hate television commercials. I really, REALLY hate them! I'm not sure
if it's that the ads have become so bad and so similar or if it's just the
constant interruption, but more and more I find myself muting the television,
walking away, or picking up the book I keep handy rather than watching a
commercial. Kind of defeats the purpose of advertisements when they're ignored
like this, wouldn't you say? The least advertisers could do, since they are a
constant interruption to my television viewing, is make ads amusing,
interesting, or at least less obnoxious and insulting.
A tiny sampling of things that go thud...
Michael Jordan/Warner Brothers ads for MCI:
Okay, Michael Jordan is an amiable hunk and I love Looney Tunes, but the new
voices for the Warner Brothers characters are barely recognizable, the scripts
are corny and stupid, and I can't recall what any of the tag lines are. Keep
Jordan and toss the fake Looney Tunes (or at least shut them up) and these ads
would be better.
Drug company ads:
The plethora of drug ads that have made a recent appearance are unintentionally
hillarious. The drug company advertises a drug for some affliction or another,
then spends most of its ad time listing the nasty side-effects (which is
required by law). I can't help but wonder who in their right mind would trade a
minor affliction for a dazzling array of horrifying side-effects! The droning,
speeding, monotone of "don't this drug if you are living" is so
tiresome I generally change the channel (and don't always return).
.com ads:
Some are cute (like the one with the yappy dog), but most are just stupid. I'd
like to take that sock puppet for the pet site and shred it with a dull pair of
scissors (slowly); I don't even recall the ad for Monster.com (just the logo at
the end); the one for the stock site where a bunch of people are visualizing
their utopias is nauseating... I watch TV for hours a day, and I can't recall
the actual site name of a single .com ad. Tells you something...
Car ads:
Could someone other than VW please come up with something more
original??? All car ads are the same: Show car. Show beautiful scenery. Cue
"Leave it to Beaver"-type family. Play soothing music. Flash gigantic
interest rate and teeny tiny exceptions that no one can read. Flash logo. The
end. YAWN. Even Toyota's new ads were funny the first time, but lost their
appeal after the second time.
A&E:
The same ad over and over and over and over again. All day long. And again. For
the same show. Again and again and again. Then again just in case you missed
it... ARRRRGGGGHH! SHUUUUUT UUUUUUP!!
Feminine hygiene ads:
Is it my imagination, or have these become grosser in recent years? Sure,
advertise your product, but you need not take the position that women are
smelly, leaky and diseased in order to do so (yuk!).
Cough/cold/flu remedies:
Most show the Perfect Family with the sniffles and Concerned Parent selecting
Appropriate Medicine. I'm not sure I agree with the suggestion that dosing kids
with anything will help cure their colds or flu, but there still has to
be a better way to advertise to the idiots who think it will.
Colgate Total:
Ca u sa shu thu fk u? (I now cringe when I pass Colgate in the toothpaste
aisle.)
All the "new-wave" ads:
You know what I'm talking about: The Dr. Seuss-ish computerized scenery; the
new-wave music; the beautiful people with the perfect lives... Enough already! I
can't help but wonder if advertisers think that we're really so stupid that we
believe our lives could be transformed into something like this if we just
bought their product.
All the "in your face" ads:
I've had about as much as I can take of the head-banging alternative music,
grunge-type logos and stroboscopic camera tricks. If I were feeling remotely ill
when watching these ads, they'd make me throw up. Perhaps that's the idea...
Gross-out slacker ads:
I don't know who thought these supposedly youth-oriented ads up, but I find it
hard to believe that anyone - young or old - could find anything terribly
appealing in ads which suggest spitting pizza sauce in your friend's face,
belching to get free CDs, or a guy who eats microwave macaroni out of his dog's
slimey bowl after his girlfriend leaves him.
Considering the zillions of dollars spent on advertising and all the creative
talent that's out there, surely somebody somewhere could come up with better
material that can a) keep one's attention without slapping one in the face or b)
grossing one out.
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