Thanksgiving is a 2023 American slasher film by Eli Roth and written by Jeff Rendell, based on a story by the pair. Based on Roth’s fictitious trailer of the same name from Grindhouse (2007), it is the third feature-length adaptation of a fictitious Grindhouse trailer after Robert Rodriguez’s Machete (2010) and Jason Eisener’s Hobo with a Shotgun (2011). The film follows a small Massachusetts town that is terrorized by a killer in a John Carver mask around the Thanksgiving holiday.
Review by Ben Dover:
What is the world coming to these days? I just had to sit through almost two hours of this Thanksgiving drivel that Hollywood is trying to pass off as “entertainment.” More like a torture device aimed at rapidly aging cranky critics like myself.
The story follows the Wilson family – a bunch of spoiled millennial brats who somehow all became successful despite having their noses buried in their blasted phones 24/7. They return to their fancy suburban home to celebrate Turkey Day with their even more insufferable parents. Histrionics, strained family “dramedy,” and a heaping helping of cringe-inducing dialogue ensue.
The idiotic patriarch is played by some former Marvel hunk who has sadly let himself go to pot. He spends most of the runtime grousing about his lame kids’ life choices while housing a depressing dad-bod. His wife is your typical hen-pecking shrew who loves nagging her family almost as much as boxed wine. As for the kids? A vapid influencer daughter, an overly-woke son, and another severely underdeveloped sibling I’ve already forgotten. A regular comedic ensemble on par with The Three Stooges.
Sure, there are a few laugh-out-loud moments parodying eccentric relatives and Thanksgiving traditions we’ve all endured. The acerbic teenage grandson providing commentary was a bright spot. But much of the humor lands like a rancid pumpkin pie – undercooked, half-baked, and incredibly stale.
By the schmaltzy ending, I wanted to start cramming forks into my retinas. Apparently, the moral was something about cherishing family, communication, and not taking each other for granted. Blah blah blah…where have I heard that one before? Give me a break!
Unless you’re a terminal masochist or enjoy reevaluating your will to live, skip this overcooked turkey and just stream Planes, Trains and Automobiles again. At least that Thanksgiving comedy has John Candy going for it instead of this forgettable drek. Kids these days…
Notes:
Budget
$15 million (est.)
Gross worldwide
$46,553,280
Runtime: 1 hour 46 minutes
Quotes:
Jessica: Hey sheriff, you were right! No… leftovers!
Lizzie: You know, you’re a fucking muppet! You Jim Henson motherfucker! Go back to Fraggle Rock!
John Carver: No one appreciates subtlety anymore. To go viral, you really need to hit people over the head. (One of the only funny lines in the movie.)
Critics Consensus:
Critics 84% Audience 80% Rotten Tomatoes
Some entertaining kill scenes make Thanksgiving a lot of fun for horror fans, even if it isn’t all that scary.…
Trailer:
AI Images:
abigailfoskett 