The Collector is a 2009 American horror film directed by Marcus Dunstan, co-written by Dunstan and Patrick Melton. It stars Josh Stewart as Arkin O’Brien, a handyman and ex-convict who, in a desperate attempt to repay a debt to his ex-wife, plans to rob his employer’s home. However, he soon discovers that a sadistic criminal, known as the Collector, has already targeted the property and rigged it with deadly traps.
Plot Overview:
Arkin’s plan to steal a valuable gem from the Chase family’s home spirals into a nightmare when he finds the family imprisoned and the house filled with lethal traps. The film explores themes of survival and desperation as Arkin navigates the dangers posed by both the traps and the Collector, who is intent on capturing him and the family
Review by Ben Dover:
The Collector: A Masterpiece of… Uh, Something
Alright, kids, let’s talk about this here “The Collector”. Now, I don’t know what kind of drugs these young whippersnappers were on when they cooked up this flick, but it’s a real doozy.
First off, we got this masked maniac, right? A guy who spends his spare time rigging up a mansion like it’s a giant, deadly game of Jenga. I’m talkin’ about traps that’d make Wile E. Coyote blush. Now, I appreciate a good Rube Goldberg machine as much as the next guy, but this is ridiculous. Who has the time or money to build all that nonsense?
Then there’s the cast. A bunch of folks you’ve never heard of, running around a house like chickens with their heads cut off. I’m tellin’ ya, if I was in that house, I’d be more worried about tripping over the furniture than some masked loony. And don’t even get me started on the acting. It’s like they were all auditioning for a community theater production of “Hamlet” – and failed miserably.
Now, I know you young folks like your scary movies with all the blood and guts. But this one? It’s like they took a horror movie and crossed it with a home improvement show. It’s gruesome, sure, but it’s also kinda stupid. It’s like watching a three-year-old play with a chainsaw. Exciting, but not exactly suspenseful.
So, should you watch “The Collector”? Well, if you enjoy watching people get impaled on fancy furniture and you have a masochistic streak a mile long, then maybe. But for the rest of us, there are plenty of other ways to spend your time. Like staring at a wall. Or counting sheep. Anything is better than this.
Finally to bring it down the ending sucks…. now its better since I now know the second movie picks right up, but at first watching, it’s a major WTF moment. If you plan on watching this be prepared to make it a double feature. If you want my review of that one, scroll way down to the bottom and I will give it to you quickly.
Final Verdict: 3 out of 5 stars. Mostly for the inventive traps, but the rest of the movie is as sharp as a butter knife.
Notes:
Rating: R (Pervasive Sadistic Bloody Violence / Language / Some Sexuality / Nudity)
Runtime: 1 hour 30 minutes
Gross worldwide: $10,234,475
Budget: $6,000,000 (estimated)
Key Cast
Josh Stewart as Arkin O’Brien
Michael Reilly Burke as Michael Chase
Andrea Roth as Victoria Chase
Juan Fernández as The Collector
Karley Scott Collins as Hannah Chase
The writers intended the movie to be a Saw (2004) prequel, but the idea was declined.
Like “Saw” (2004), this film is also inspired by “Se7en” (1995).
First nude scene for Madeline Zima, who played the youngest daughter Grace on the sitcom The Nanny (1993). (and boy is it an amazing one.)
Quotes:
Arkin: Stupid fucking cat!
Critics Consensus:
Critics 29% Audience 48% Rotten Tomatoes
Increasingly tedious displays of gore makes this torture porn home-invasion-horror more programmatic than provocative.
Trailer:
The Collection: A Warehouse Full of Crap
Review By Ben Dover
Alright, kids, let’s talk about this sequel business. They made a sequel to The Collector? Are you kidding me? It’s like making a sequel to a root canal.
Now, the first one was a mess, but this one? This one’s a downright disaster. They took all the stupid from the first movie and cranked it up to eleven. A bigger house, more traps, and even less plot. It’s like these filmmakers have a personal vendetta against common sense.
We got our hero guy back, the one who somehow survived a house full of death traps. Now he’s got to rescue a damsel in distress from an even bigger death trap. I’m starting to think this guy has a death wish. Or maybe he’s just really bad at picking apartments.
And the Collector? Still as creepy as a wet sock. I mean, the guy’s got a whole warehouse full of torture devices. It’s like he’s been planning this for his entire life. Maybe he should get a hobby. Like knitting. Or stamp collecting. Anything but kidnapping people and turning his workplace into a human-sized mousetrap.
The action sequences? Well, they’re loud. Real loud. But they’re also about as thrilling as watching paint dry. I mean, how many times can you watch someone narrowly avoid a giant buzzsaw before you start yawning?
So, should you watch The Collection? Well, if you’re into watching people get chopped up into tiny pieces and you have a masochistic streak a mile long, then maybe. But for the rest of us, there are better ways to spend your time. Like staring at a wall. Or counting sheep. Or even watching the first movie again. At least that one was kinda fresh.
Final Verdict: 1 out of 5 stars. Minus points for originality and common sense.
