Waterworld is a 1995 American post-apocalyptic action film directed by Kevin Reynolds, featuring Kevin Costner, Dennis Hopper, and Jeanne Tripplehorn. The film is set in a dystopian future where the polar ice caps have melted, causing the Earth to be almost entirely submerged in water. The story follows a mutated mariner, known simply as “The Mariner,” who navigates this water world while battling starvation and hostile groups, particularly the “smokers,” who are pirates led by the villainous Deacon (Hopper). He reluctantly assists a woman and a young girl in their quest to find dry land.
Ahoy, Matey, This Movie Be Flotsam and Jetsam!
Review by Ben Dover: 2.5 Leaky Sailboats
Alright, folks, settle in for your grumpy grandpa movie review. Tonight’s aquatic adventure? Waterworld, a film that cost more than a small nation and sank faster than a lead zeppelin.
Now, don’t get me wrong. The visuals are somethin’ else. We’re talkin’ endless ocean with makeshift towns built on glorified lily pads. Pretty impressive, if you ignore the fact that everyone seems to be wearin’ the castoffs from a Mad Max rummage sale.
Speaking of Mad Max, our hero, the Mariner, played by Kevin Costner with all the charisma of a barnacle, is basically a watery Mad Max with gills. Dude looks like he’s spent more time fending off sharks than learning basic hygiene. Maybe that explains why he ends up babysittin’ a little moppet named Enola, who apparently holds the key to finding dry land.
Dry land, folks! Seems everyone in this watery wasteland forgot how to use a map and a compass. Bunch of millennial directionally-challenged lightweights, I tell ya.
Then there’s the villain, the Deacon, played by Dennis Hopper channeling his inner Captain Ahab with a bad case of sunstroke. He and his band of Smokers, lookin’ like extras from a rejected Village People audition, chase our heroes across the waves in their own ramshackle fleet.
The action sequences are loud, they’re splashy, but about as exciting as watching paint dry on a leaky rowboat. And don’t even get me started on the plot holes you could sail a yacht through.
Look, Waterworld isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen. It’s just…uninspired. Like a lukewarm bowl of clam chowder. It’s got the ingredients, but somethin’s missin’. Maybe some decent dialogue? A likable hero? A plot that doesn’t reek of recycled B-movies?
So, should you watch Waterworld? Well, if you’re stuck on a deserted island with nothin’ but a rusty antenna and a desperate need for background noise, then sure, knock yourself out. Otherwise, there’s a whole ocean of better movies out there. Just don’t blame me if you get seasick.
Final Verdict: 2.5 out of 5 stars. Mostly for the impressive sets and the unintentional comedy.
Notes:
Rating: PG-13
Runtime: 2 hours 15 minutes (There is a 3 hour version floating around)
Gross worldwide: $264,218,220
Budget: $175,000,000 (estimated)
It is rumored that director Kevin Reynolds and Kevin Costner had a huge squabble over the film, resulting in Reynolds walking off the project, and leaving Costner to take over directing and oversee editing. Reynolds was quoted as saying that “Kevin Costner should only star in movies he directs. That way, he can work with his favorite actor and favorite director.”
Kevin Costner personally invested $22 million of his own money into the film.
Kevin Costner was going through a bitter divorce during filming, which Kevin Reynolds felt probably added to his grim and somewhat unsympathetic portrayal of the Mariner.
Quotes:
Enola: He doesn’t have a name, so death can’t find him. He doesn’t have a home or people to care for. He’s not afraid of anything, men least of all. He’s fast and strong like the big wind. He can hear 100 miles and see 100 miles underwater. He can hide in the shadow of the noon sun. He can be right behind you and you wont even know it till your dead.
Deacon: If you’ll notice the arterial nature of the blood coming from the hole in my head, you can assume that we’re all having a real lousy day.
Critics Consensus:
Critics 47% Audience 43% Rotten Tomatoes
Though it suffered from toxic buzz at the time of its release, Waterworld is ultimately an ambitious misfire: an extravagant sci-fi flick with some decent moments and a lot of silly ones.
Trailer:
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