First we had a Netflix original Christmas movie called “The Christmas Chronicles.” This movie is about a brother and sister who team up with Santa Claus to save Christmas after his sleigh crashes and his reindeer are stolen. The movie is directed by Clay Kaytis and stars Kurt Russell, Judah Lewis, and Darby Camp.
Review by Ben Dover
The Christmas Chronicles (2018): A Netflix Holiday Cash Grab That Actually Doesn’t Completely Suck
Rating: 4.5/5 Martinis (One drink reserved for Kurt Russell, who saves this entire mess)
Look, I’ve seen more Christmas movies than I’ve had hot dinners, and most modern holiday films make me want to drink enough eggnog to forget they exist. But “The Christmas Chronicles” – somehow – isn’t a total disaster. And it’s almost entirely because of Kurt Russell, who plays Santa Claus like he just stepped out of a biker bar after three whiskey shots.
Kurt Russell as Santa is like if your coolest uncle decided to moonlight as Christmas’s most badass delivery driver. He’s not your typical milk-and-cookies Santa. This Santa looks like he could solve global warming with a roundhouse kick and has definitely been in a bar fight or twelve. Russell plays him with more swagger than most action heroes, which is saying something for a guy who’s supposed to be delivering presents to children.
The plot follows two kids, Kate and Pier Pierce, who catch Santa in the act and accidentally mess up his Christmas Eve run. Sounds like the setup for every bad family movie since 1985, right? But here’s the shocking part – it’s actually kind of entertaining. The kids aren’t those sickeningly perfect child actors who look like they’ve been assembled in some Disney laboratory. They feel like real, slightly annoying siblings who might actually exist.
Darby Camp and Judah Lewis play Kate and Pier, and they’ve got more chemistry than most adult actors I’ve seen. When they accidentally cause Santa to crash and destroy his magical sleigh, you can actually believe these knuckleheads would do something that monumentally stupid. It’s like watching my own grandkids, minus the potential property damage.
The special effects are surprisingly decent for a Netflix movie. Santa’s workshop looks like what would happen if an Apple Store and a Christmas card had a baby. The elves are CGI creations that don’t make me want to gouge my eyes out, which is a Christmas miracle in itself. They move with this weird combination of efficiency and slapstick that actually works.
There’s a sequence where Santa and the kids end up in jail that is so ridiculous, so completely bonkers, that I found myself actually laughing. Santa doing a musical number in a prison? In any other movie, I’d be rolling my eyes. Here, Kurt Russell makes it work through sheer force of charisma. The man could read a phone book and make it entertaining.
The movie also has the good sense not to take itself too seriously. It knows it’s a ridiculous premise and leans into the absurdity. When Santa starts explaining the logistics of Christmas Eve delivery like he’s presenting a complicated military operation, I was sold.
Now, it’s not perfect. There are moments that are cheesier than a Wisconsin dairy farm. The message about believing in family and Christmas spirit is laid on thicker than the gravy at Thanksgiving dinner. But compared to most modern Christmas movies that feel like they were written by an algorithm, this thing has actual heart.
Bottom Line: A Christmas movie that doesn’t make me want to retire to a tropical island and never look at another snowflake. Kurt Russell saves what could have been another forgettable Netflix holiday special.
Fun Fact: Kurt Russell apparently based his Santa on Elvis Presley and a bit of his own father, Bing Russell. Which explains why this Santa looks like he could headline a rock concert and fix your car transmission, all before delivering presents.
Memorable Quote: “I’ve been doing this for over 1,000 years. I think I know what I’m doing.” – Santa, proving that confidence is 90% of any job.
Best Scene: Santa in jail, hands down. It’s like “Orange is the New North Pole.”
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go tell my grandkids that Santa is definitely NOT as cool as Kurt Russell. They won’t believe me, but it’s worth a shot.
Ben “Get Off My Lawn” Dover has been asked by his family to please stop critiquing Christmas movies. He continues to do so anyway.
Stars in the movie:
- Kurt Russell as Santa Claus
- Judah Lewis as Teddy Claus
- Darby Camp as Kate Claus
- Goldie Hawn as Mrs. Claus
Special Effects:
The special effects were the best part of this movie. The sleigh ride scene was fun to watch, and the elves were cute.
Music:
The music was amazing. Seeing Kurt Russell having a blast singing with basically the whole E-street band was a lot of fun!
Rating:
I would give this movie 5 out of 5 stars. One of the best straight up Christmas movies I have seen
Synopsis and Plot Breakdown
The movie starts with two siblings, Teddy and Kate Claus, who are excited for Christmas. They are waiting for Santa Claus to arrive, but he never shows up. Instead, they find a crashed sleigh and a group of elves who are looking for Santa. The siblings decide to help the elves find Santa and save Christmas.
Along the way, they meet a lot of interesting characters, including a mischievous elf named Belsnickel and a group of reindeer who are trying to get back to the North Pole. They also have to deal with a group of criminals who are trying to steal Santa’s magic.
In the end, the siblings are able to find Santa and save Christmas. They also learn the true meaning of Christmas.
5 Famous Quotes from the Movie:
- “I’m not a regular dad. I’m a cool dad.” – Santa Claus
- “I’m not a regular elf. I’m a cool elf.” – Belsnickel
- “Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!” – Santa Claus
- “I’m not a regular reindeer. I’m a cool reindeer.” – Blitzen
- “I’m not a regular kid. I’m a cool kid.” – Teddy Claus
5 Interesting Facts about the Movie:
- This movie is the first Netflix original Christmas movie.
- Kurt Russell’s son Wyatt Russell also stars in this movie.
- The movie was filmed in Vancouver, Canada.
- The movie was released on Netflix on November 22, 2018.
- The movie has a runtime of 1 hour and 53 minutes.
Trailer:
The Christmas Chronicles 2
Netflix also released a sequel to their 2018 Christmas movie “The Christmas Chronicles.” The new film, “The Christmas Chronicles 2,” follows Kate Pierce as she teams up with Santa Claus to save Christmas after a mischievous elf (Belsnickel or Andy as we like to call him.) threatens to cancel it. The movie is directed by Chris Columbus and stars Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, and Darby Camp.
Review by Ben Dover
The Christmas Chronicles 2 (2020): A Sequel That Somehow Doesn’t Completely Crater
Rating: 3.5/5 Martinis (One extra drink for Kurt Russell’s continued commitment to this nonsense)
Just when I thought Hollywood had run out of Christmas movie ideas faster than my grandson runs out of patience during family dinners, along comes “The Christmas Chronicles 2” – a sequel that has absolutely no right to be as watchable as it is.
Kurt Russell returns as Santa Claus, proving once again that he’s the only reason this franchise hasn’t been tossed into the cinematic garbage disposal like most Netflix holiday movies. This time, he’s protecting the North Pole from a disgruntled former elf named Belsnickel, played by Julian Dennison, who looks like he wandered in from a completely different movie and decided to cause some chaos.
The kid from the first movie, Teddy Pierce (Judah Lewis), is now a teenager – which means he’s precisely as annoying as every teenage boy in human history. His sister Kate (Darby Camp) returns, this time getting dragged into another Christmas adventure that would make most parents call child protective services. They end up at the North Pole after being magically transported by Belsnickel, who’s basically the Christmas version of a disgruntled IT employee with a grudge.
Goldie Hawn joins Russell this time as Mrs. Claus, proving that Hollywood’s most adorable couple can make even the most ridiculous Christmas plot semi-believable. She brings a warmth to the role that makes you forget you’re watching a movie about magical elves and Christmas sabotage. It’s like watching your favorite aunt who always brings the best pie to Thanksgiving, except this aunt can apparently save Christmas.
The North Pole looks like what would happen if IKEA designed a winter wonderland. The elves are still those CGI creatures that somehow manage to be both cute and slightly terrifying – like my neighbor’s chihuahua. There’s a whole sequence involving the elves defending their homeland that’s more elaborate than most war movies I’ve seen. These aren’t your grandpa’s cute little Christmas helpers; these are more like a tactical Christmas special forces unit.
Belsnickel is basically the IT guy who got fired and decided to take revenge on the entire Christmas operation. Julian Dennison plays him with this perfect mix of comedic anger and genuine threat. He’s like that one relative at family gatherings who’s always complaining about something but is somehow still invited back.
The special effects have improved from the first movie, which isn’t saying much but is definitely something. There are flying sequences that don’t look like they were made on someone’s laptop during their lunch break. The magical transportation scenes are actually kind of fun, which is more than I can say for most modern CGI spectacles.
Bottom Line: A sequel that doesn’t completely embarrass the original is about as rare as a family gathering without an argument. Kurt Russell continues to be the saving grace of modern Christmas cinema.
Fun Fact: Kurt Russell apparently does his own stunts as Santa, which is either the most dedicated performance in Christmas movie history or a sign that he’s lost his mind. Maybe both.
Memorable Quote: “I’ve been doing this for a thousand years. I think I know what I’m doing.” – Santa, which is basically what I tell my grandkids every time they try to “help” me with technology.
Best Scene: The elf defense sequence, which is more strategic than most actual military operations I’ve seen in documentaries.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go tell my family that if they ever try to sabotage Christmas, they’ll have to deal with Kurt Russell. That ought to keep them in line.
Ben “Get Off My Lawn” Dover has been asked by his family to please stop comparing real-life events to Christmas movies. He continues to do so anyway.
Stars in the movie:
- Goldie Hawn as Mrs. Claus
- Kurt Russell as Santa Claus
- Darby Camp as Kate Pierce
- Judah Lewis as Teddy Pierce
- Julian Dennison as Belsnickel
Special Effects:
The special effects were the best part of this movie. The sleigh ride scene was fun to watch, and the elves were cute.
Music:
The music was again fun with Kurt hamming it up with Patti Labelle this time.
Rating:
I would give this movie 3.5 out of 5 stars.
Synopsis and Plot Breakdown
The movie starts with Kate Pierce, now a cynical teenager, who is reunited with Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. They are soon joined by a mischievous elf named Belsnickel, who is trying to cancel Christmas. Kate and Santa must work together to stop Belsnickel and save Christmas.
Along the way, they meet a lot of interesting characters, including a group of elves who are trying to get back to the North Pole and a group of reindeer who are being held captive by Belsnickel. They also have to deal with a group of criminals who are trying to steal Santa’s magic.
In the end, Kate and Santa are able to stop Belsnickel and save Christmas. They also learn the true meaning of Christmas.
5 Famous Quotes from the Movie:
- “I’m not a regular dad. I’m a cool dad.” – Santa Claus
- “I’m not a regular elf. I’m a cool elf.” – Belsnickel
- “Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!” – Santa Claus
- “I’m not a regular reindeer. I’m a cool reindeer.” – Blitzen
- “I’m not a regular kid. I’m a cool kid.” – Teddy Claus
5 Interesting Facts about the Movie:
- This movie is the second Netflix original Christmas movie.
- Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn star in this movie together for the first time since 1987’s “Overboard.”
- The movie was filmed in Vancouver, Canada.
- The movie was released on Netflix on November 22, 2020.
- The movie has a runtime of 1 hour and 55 minutes.