The 2014-2015
Sixteenth Annual TV BiteMes
by Neena Louise
Worst Actress
Jennifer Coolidge, “Sophie Kachinsky”, 2 Broke Girls
Four years running, now. Make it stop!
Best Actress
Taraji P. Henderson, “Cookie Lyon”, Empire
Empire is pure soap, but virtually impossible not to watch, primarily because of Henderson’s delicious turn as “Cookie”. Her acting skills were confirmed when Henderson popped up on Person of Interest as the ghost of “Joss Carter”, and I thought of her as only Carter, not Cookie.
Most Overrated Female
Archie Panjabi, “Kalinda Sharma”, The Good Wife
Panjabi’s exit from The Good Wife was supposedly earth-shattering. Even though I know she can act, her one-note portrayal of the one-note “Kalinda” made it such that I couldn’t possibly care any less.
Most Overlooked Female
Laurie Metcalf, “Marjorie McCarthy”, The McCarthys
Metcalf’s performance was the only thing worth watching on this now-canceled series.
Worst Actor
John Mulaney, “John Mulaney”, Mulaney
Comedian and writer Mulaney can’t act his way out of a paper bag. Didn’t help that his now-canceled show was unfunny as hell.
Best Actor
Andre Braugher, “Captain Ray Holt”, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Though Brooklyn‘s appeal is starting to wane, Braugher’s turn as “Captain Holt” kept me coming back for more.
Most Overrated Male
Hudson Yang, ” Eddie Huang”, Fresh Off the Boat
He’s cute and an accomplished actor for one so young, but he doesn’t deserve all the gushing raves he’s getting. Neither does the show, for the matter.
Most Overlooked Male
Dean Winters, “Russ Agnew”, Battle Creek
Winters’ performance as the grumpy and somewhat clueless “Russ” was the only reason to watch the now-canceled Creek.
Worst-Dressed Female
“Beth Davis”, Maggie Q, Stalker
It was a constant game of “how low can you go?” with “Beth’s” silly tops. No cop worth her salt would ever dress like this. Not only because it’s unprofessional, but from a practical standpoint, how could you effectively do your job if you’re constantly worried about your boobs falling out?
Best-Dressed Female
“Alicia Florrick”, Julianna Margulies The Good Wife
Even when casually dressed, “Alicia” always looked put together in her perfectly-tailored clothes.
Worst-Dressed Male
“John Reese”, Jim Caviezel, Person of Interest
Enough with the stupid suit already!
Best-Dressed Male
“Raymond Reddington”, James Spader, The Blacklist
Even when he got a beat down, he still looked good.
Worst TV Mom
“Bonnie”, Allison Janney, Mom
The fact that she is flawed is the entire premise of her character, but there’s flawed and then there’s intolerable. She was so selfish, she didn’t even deserve the term “mother”.
Best TV Mom
“Debbie Wolowitz”, Carol Ann Susi, Big Bang Theory
Though you never saw her during her entire 8-year run, the late Susi’s unabashed shrieking as “Howard’s” smothering mother never ceased to get a laugh. R.I.P.
Worst TV Dad
“Jake Broderick”, Josh Lucas, The Mysteries of Laura
“Jake” had absolutely no qualms about trying to manipulate his ex-wife into reconsidering their breakup. As he plotted to get her back, he seemed to have no feelings whatsoever for his children.
Best TV Dad
“Tom Miller”, Beau Bridges The Millers
“Tom” totally ignored the trials and tribulations of his grown children and did whatever he wanted. All fathers at this stage in their lives have done their job as a parent and should be the same way.
Worst TV Kid
“Lily Tucker-Pritchett”, Aubrey Anderson-Emmons, Modern Family
Didn’t help that Anderson-Emmons can’t act for beans, but even worse was that “Lily” was an obnoxious, rude, spoiled brat.
Best TV Kids
“Nicholas and Harrison Broderick”, Charlie and Vincent Reina, The Mysteries of Laura
It’s so refreshing to see two little hellions that aren’t caricatures. Yes, you wanted to put them in a time-out for the majority of the day, but you just couldn’t help but like and maybe even admire them for being themselves.
Least Likable Character on a Show
“Beth Davis”, Maggie Q, Stalker
I can’t put my finger on what I found so incredibly unlikeable about Maggie Q’s “Beth”. Maybe it was the trying-too-hard-to-be-a-woman-in-a-man’s-world thing or her ridiculous clothes…who knows? Didn’t help that all the other characters were also unlikeable on this now-canceled series.
Most Likable Character on a Show
“Cookie Lyon”, Taraji P. Henderson, Empire
Ranging from shrill and manipulative to loving, you just couldn’t help but adore “Cookie”.
Worst Drama
Backstrom
From its unlikeable characters to its dull plots, this series should never have seen the light of day.
Best Drama
How to Get Away with Murder
Sometimes a little silly, but the outstanding acting and the frequent “oh my god!” plot twists kept you hooked.
Worst Sitcom
Two and a Half Men
Thank heavens this show has finally bit the dust after the last 4 painful Charlie Sheen-less seasons. Good riddance.
Best Sitcom
The Big Bang Theory
Other sitcoms should take note. After 8 seasons, this show still makes me laugh every week.
Worst SciFi
Gotham
I tried to watch this series, giving it 4 episodes to make me want to watch (rather than my usual 2 episodes and you’re out). Couldn’t do it. It was just too boring and more than a little silly.
Best SciFi
The Flash
I’m not usually a fan of angst-ridden SciFi (think Smallville), but I couldn’t help coming back week after week to find out what happened next.
Runner-up
Wayward Pines
Though it’s too soon to tell whether this’ll last now that the secret’s out, it was very engaging up to that point.
Worst Animated Series
Family Guy
I really don’t understand the appeal of this series that is going into its 14th(!) season.
Best Animated Series
The Simpsons
Now in its 27th(!!) season. Hard to believe.
Most Overrated Series
Scandal
Another series for which I’ve never understood the appeal. Yes, the acting is top-notch, but I just couldn’t get interested in anything else.
Most Overlooked Series
Forever
Not a great show, mind you, but not awful and infinitely better than some of the crap that got renewed (Galavant anyone?). Scheduled opposite Person of Interest, it didn’t stand a chance, however, and is now gone forever.
Worst Writing
2 Broke Girls
The premise is good, but this show really needs new writers. So one-note, I tried watching it 4 or 5 times this season and didn’t even make it through one entire episode without muting it or changing the channel.
The Big Bang Theory
‘Nuff said.
Worst Host/Narrator
Christina Tosi, Masterchef
I hate to say it, but there’s a reason why top chefs are predominantly men. Shrill and obnoxious with a voice that makes your ears bleed, Tosi never stopped reminding contestants that she’s a top chef and they aren’t. Considering I’d never heard of her and it seems she just bakes for a living, her insecurity was very apparent. She must go.
Best Host/Narrator
Phil Keoghan, The Amazing Race
Can you imagine Race with any other host? I can’t and if they ever switch hosts, I don’t think I could ever watch it again.
Worst Newscaster/Reporter
Brian Williams, formerly of NBC Nightly News
I wonder if his pants are actually on fire? If they were, you can be sure he’d lie about it.
Best Newscaster/Reporter
Peter Mansbridge, CBC
Yes, I had to leave the country for this one. I was glued to CBC when a terrorist shot and killed soldier Corporal Nathan Cirillo in Ottawa. The shooter then ran into the nearby Parliament Buildings where he was ultimately killed. Though I flipped around all the American networks, I found their coverage so hyped up and filled with so much maybe/might/possibly babbling, I kept going back to CBC for Mansbridge’s calm and factual coverage.
Worst News Magazine
20/20
It seems the news magazine genre has gone the way of singing competitions. With so few to choose from on network TV, 20/20 takes it for being so sensationalistic.
Best News Magazine
60 Minutes
This has been on the air for 47 years, now. What other reason does it need?
Worst Reality Show Series
Utopia
A group of strangers were supposed to spend a year creating a new society. It stank so bad it didn’t even make it to the 2-month mark.
Best Reality Show Series
Undercover Boss
Pickings are getting slim for reality shows on network TV (cable is a different story). Boss is the most interesting, mainly because I think most people would like to see their boss get in the trenches at least once.
Worst Reality Game/Contest
The Celebrity Apprentice
This was mildly diverting in its infancy, but with the C-listers, Donald Trump’s ego and the hit-you-over-the-head product placements, it’s now barely diverting.
Best Reality Game/Contest
The Amazing Race
Despite their highly irritating focus on social media this past season, Race still takes the category. However, if they don’t dispense with (or at least tone down) the annoying selfies and hashtags for every damn thing, winning in the future isn’t guaranteed.
Worst Reality Villain
Kenya Moore, Celebrity Apprentice
Rude, full of herself and a bald-faced liar, you just wanted to bitch-slap her. And she totally stole Vivica Fox’s phone and put out a fake tweet, despite all her denials. If all that wasn’t bad enough, she claimed her firing was bogus and had been pre-planned. What a horrible human being!
Best Reality Villain
Kevin O’Leary, Shark Tank
Unapologetically greedy, the misnomered “Mr. Wonderful” routinely dashed pitchers’ dreams, frequently calling them idiots, cockroaches and greedy (pot, meet kettle). Nevertheless, you couldn’t help but admire his bluntness – especially since a lot of the pitchers deserved it.
Worst Game Show
500 Questions
I have just one: who thought this drivel up?
Best Game Show
Jeopardy
Though it’s time for host Alex Trebek to retire, this is still the most entertaining game show on television.
Worst Score
America’s Got Talent
Still haven’t fired the person that chooses the “send-off” tunes, I see. So eye-rollingly corny, it forced me to mute the TV.
Best Score
Empire
I’m not a big rap/hip hop fan, but there were so many good tunes that I kept coming back for more.
Worst Theme Music
Constantine
WTF was that??
Best Theme Music
Sleepy Hollow
Not only was the tune pretty cool, the creepy opening images were as well.
Worst Newcomer (that hasn’t been canceled)
CSI: Cyber
Like most spinoff series, CSI gets paler with each incarnation. The palest yet, Cyber was the most unengaging and dreadfully dull CSI version to date.
Best Newcomer (that hasn’t been canceled)
How to Get Away with Murder
See “Best Drama”.
Biggest Decline in Quality
The Last Man on Earth
It went from fresh and funny as Will Forte’s “Phil Miller” struggled seemingly alone in the world, to an unfunny same-old-same-old sitcom as other survivors joined him – all within the span of its first season.
Most Improved in Quality
The Blacklist
Finally revealing the mysterious [boring, stupid, who cares?] past of agent Keene allowed The Blacklist to move on and, well, get back to the list.
Worst Network
Fox. Despite hits like Empire, Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Masterchef Junior, Fox had a 24% drop in viewers this season. Maybe ditching American Idol will help. Couldn’t hurt, anyway.
Best Network
CBS for being the most-watched network this season.
Worst Commercial
Every Matthew McConaughey Lincoln ad
Mumbling incoherently about…something, as one of my friends put it: “I hope he got paid a lot of money.”
The parodies, on the other hand, are hilarious:
Best Commercial
Budweiser “Lost Puppy”
Can we all say “awwwwwwww”?
Biggest Stinker of the Season
Red Band Society
Oh, where do I start? From the unlikeable characters to the comatose kid that might as well have been sleeping, considering he had no tubes or IVs, this was pure crap. Oddly, I found the wood floors to be the most distracting. I mean, have you ever seen a hospital with wood floors? Can you imagine trying to clean contaminated bodily fluids off a wood floor??? It’s no wonder this was given a swift death (pun intended).
Trend of the Year
The invasion of social media
Every single show had some sort of intrusive admonishment to go to Twitter/Facebook/anywhere other than the TV show you were watching. It was very annoying, not to mention a bit of a head-scratcher. So…TV execs want me to turn away from the TV?
Least Magical Moment
Two and Half Men Series Finale
It turns out “Charlie” wasn’t dead after all. Until he was crushed by a piano at the end. You. Can. Not. Be. Serious.
Most Magical Moment
The Big Bang’s Theory‘s last scene of the season finale
“Sheldon” (Jim Parsons) pulled out an engagement ring after girlfriend “Amy” (Mayim Bialik) said she wanted take a break from their relationship. I freely admit it: I gasped.
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